the loser had not lost

I'm a loser. Yes, I am a loser. I'm admitting to this fact. There was this one time that Borro told me that I'm easily bullied and I was made aware of this fact.

I am a loser. I dislike competing. When I see long queues, nine out of ten times, no, make that 998 out of 1000 times I'd almost surely go "Ahhh! Malasnya aku nak beratur! Lain kali ah! (or 'Gi tempat lain ah!')". The only other two out of the 1000 times that I'd go nevertheless would be when I had to have my passport done, and at Zainul Nasi Kandar. Girls? Similar. This may sound like a big turn off to girls, but I so dislike to compete for someone's heart. I think people should just go do what they want/like and I, of course, am a firm believer of the old saying that 'jodoh pertemuan di tangan Tuhan' (if it's meant to be, it'll be). I mean, if I like someone, of course I'd want to make her happy (like d-uh!!), but if like, there are lots of guys around wanting to 'win' her and she seems to be enjoying it (or, God forbid, them :p) then it's OK, maybe it's just not meant to be. Or it's the timing. Or whatever. I'm also a loser in the sense that I've acknowledged the fact that I do not have a chance in hell to win lucky draws. The only time, ever, that I won one was when I was sitting beside Meme during this FEA dinner or whatever, and now she's the unluckiest person on earth (kidding). Seriously, I won't win again, ever. Ever. Except maybe if I get to sit beside her again, I don't really know. It's an unproven hypotheses, you see.

Anyway, being the veteran loser, I've devised a way to not be at the losing end all the time, despite losing all the time (strange sentence, I know, but read on). There are only two rules;

1) (If) You can't win, at least don't lose (word in parentheses is for those who're unsure of their loser status). That is; always, always fight for scraps. For example, those who know me will know that I'm not the brightest or the most hardworking student ever, but hey, I've got a 'Best Oral Presentation' award, got to go to Singapore (for academic reasons) and if I'm lucky (which I'm not, except maybe when sitting beside Meme), I'll get to go to Portugal in July (again, for academic reasons). I mean, the 'winners' get jobs with big salaries or full-scholarshipped further studies and marry early and have children born early and whatever. I'm a loser, so I fight for whatever scraps. You'll be surprised at what extravagant scraps there are for losers out there. Trust me, if I can do it, anyone can.

2) Losing anyway? Be graceful. Mourinho, when Chelsea won against Manchester United at Old Trafford some time ago that I'd hate to remember, despite being sort of an asshole in the sense that he's always claiming to be the special one and whatever, actually said this; "I have great respect and admiration for Alex Ferguson. He treated me well. I must learn from him and return the compliment when we host them (Man United)"(or something similar). No, not with sarcasm. If everyone just learn to be graceful in defeat, in a way, the loser also wins. And it takes 'the winning feeling' from the winner a bit. I mean, imagine if Fergie were asshole-y on that particular day, won't Mourinho go; "in your face, man!!" and punch one hand in the air? Won't he be, well, happier? Grace is wonderful. The one part that the loser can always outshine the winner.

Good luck, losers!!

go away!

Have anyone ever heard of the 90/10 rule? (or maybe it's the 90/10 principle or whatever). I got an email one day (from Bam, if I remembered correctly) about this remarkable 90/10 rule which, among others, 'holds true for almost everything that happens around people'. Or something like that. Am working from memory here.

Anyway

The rule basically stated that everyone in this world have a 90% control of what happens around her/himself. The other 10% are what we might call the uncontrollable variables. An example given was*; one morning when you were ready to go to work and was having breakfast, your daughter spilled something on your shirt. Your reaction was; 1)yell at her (which is a practice that is arguably energy sapping and time consuming) and then 2)gets grumpy and ask in a non-polite manner for your wife to get you a new shirt. And your reaction might very well result in: 1)an unhappy daughter and 2) an unhappy wife (at least for that one day). And because you spent time yelling, you were late to work and got some stick from the boss. And your mood -which is not good since your energy had been spent negatively- worsen. And this very event -a minor one if you asked me- might very well have a long(er) term effect, like daughter and wife hating you and the boss looking at you in a different light (not a good kind of light, while at that). One whole shitty day (90% or more), all because of a minor event that might have taken less than 5 seconds to occur (10% or less).

Now, imagine what would happen if, after something has been spilled on your shirt, you quickly tell your daughter to be careful next time, sparing the yelling, and, because you're not exactly grumpy then, asks your wife for a new shirt, politely. Done quickly, you might even get to work on time. Good day for the family, no?

This practice of rewriting what people forwarded me can be considered a form of plagiarizing.

Anyway

I originally wanted to write about anger, something that we can very well do without (as a matter of fact, the title of the post is with regards to anger, that is; go away, anger!). But now, somehow, I've lost the desire to write about anger. So here's what you should do; understand what I've written so far and relate it to how we all can very well do without anger, any way you see fit.

And we can all have a merry plagiarizing day

* :- this is, of course, conceptually, just an example.

semi formal letter?

Must be real pissed at me

based on real conversations

He was buying a container to put sugar in, balang in Bahasa. She was looking for her roomate's birthday present, and decided to buy a pair of bra.

He: wa mau beli balang
She: wa mau beli bla

That's all, folks.

Uhh..um..that's not all, folks;

New discoveries at Midvalley Megamall:

You can park your motorcycle for more than 24 hours (that is, park it today and take it out tomorrow, for example) and pay the parking fee for one day only. HAHA. Haven't tried other vehicles. And haven't tried longer durations. Hmmmm

Tako Tao is a stall in front of Jusco (ground floor) that sells really really tasty balls. Like, seafood balls (but they have unagi -eels- balls and I don't reckon they use sea eels for those so 'sea'food might be a politically incorrect term. Betul ke Yana?). If you like sushi you'll die eating these. Twice

There's very good assam laksa in Midvalley outside of Little Penang, too! Again, this is in Jusco, at the very same floor that they sell containers and tumblers and whatever. Look for cactuses you must, and find assam laksa you shall

Metrojaya sell shirts with the brand 'Shirt Maker Choya' (SMC). Cool brand, no? And to Choya's credit, these are very good shirts we're talking about. It's a pretty wellknown brand I think. Not by me though. Katak bawah tempurung

And, well, this is not really a new discovery: do not go to shopping complexes on public holidays. If you have other options, that is. Orang ramai nak mampus

tarzan in stainless steel

Aku rasa terpanggil pulak bila baca posting ni, for whatever reasons. Kelakar la perbincangan pasal cawat besi ni. Paling aku kelakar dengan soalan ni: "Dato’ Hassan Din cadangkan orang perempuan saja kena pakai cawat besi supaya tidak kena rogol. Tapi, beliau tidak pula suruh orang lelaki, iaitu siperogol yang gila seks tu yang kena pakai cawat besi supaya dia tidak boleh merogol."

No disrespect to women, in any way. But I just must ask this: if men were to wear cawat besi, gila seks or not, then how are they going to go to the bathroom?* And, well, bearing in mind the particular member that is notorious and needed to be contained here, what happens when the member..um..expands?**

Whether or not women should wear the cawat besi is besides the point (and, well, has been discussed in length elsewhere, I believe). Thing is, the wearing of cawat besi is an option for ladies only. They can choose to wear it. Or they can choose to not wear it. The option is there. Not the best option, people will argue, but an option nevertheless. No one is forced to take this option, so nothing inhuman occurred. It's just and option, that's all. It is when men wear it that something inhuman is in progress. And with all due respect, Dato' Hassan Din gave his opinion based on his experience (of possibly hearing or knowing that there was a time when women do wear cawat besi. Like, for real, man). I think it was an honest opinion which did not border on (gaining) popularity. Alas, what do I know?

* and ** : I raised these questions based on the assumption that if someone gila seks is to wear cawat besi, the device must restrict him in ways that shall not be discussed here, and he must not be allowed the key(s) to it. So how meh?

banned in most chatrooms

Yesterday's khutbah Jumaat, I thought, was a big slap in the face for one or two very prominent dudes. It was about liberal Islam. And the essence of it was how some people argue that religion should be open for everyone to discuss.

Well, agreed. Thing is, I look at it this way; when writing an article for scientific journals, for example, almost every single sentence must be referred to another refereed scientific article, except one's own findings (from one's own experiment(s)). And then the (newly) written article shall be refereed before being published. By experts. So if we can adhere to a somewhat similar system when discussing religion, where whatever opinions should be based on a sentence (or a few sentences) from the Hadith or Al-Qur'an, then it would be fine, provided that the sentences are in their full form (no spin, please. This is religion we're talking about here) and that the experts (that is, Islamic scholars) can give their opinions based on how they understood the particular discussion at hand, because, well, they're the experts here.

A source of frustration, I think, is because lots of people think they don't have any say when it comes to religion, and so they just have to accept. That is sad. Accepting without knowing (and, well, without questioning), I think, would be the very definition of jahiliyyah.

On the other hand, no one should take a few sentences from the Hadith or Al-Qur'an and 'mould' them to 'fit their agenda'.

Religion is something that should you want to embrace, you should embrace fully, not take whatever fits your fancy and leave the rest. Free discussions? Yes. Opinions and counter opinions? Yes. Spin? Please, no. We are free to have opinions, but let us be guided by the Hadith and Al-Qur'an, not popular choice.

love, sanity, and some space

Faiz, please don't try this, no matter how lovely those Russian girls may seem :p

there goes my bag

I am one of those motorcyclists which you might or might not categorize as skema (skema people follow the rules. Which is almost unheard of for drivers in this country. Especially motorcyclists). I signalled when turning, I cilok, yes, but in a berhemah manner (really? But read on, please ;p), in the sense that I don't damage people's (cars') side mirrors, I stayed left on the road (the unofficial motorcyclists' lane), heck, when not in one of those I'm-in-a-hurry,-dammit! moments, I even stop at zebra crossings (sometimes I stop at zebra crossings even in one of those I'm-in-a-hurry,-dammit! moments. That's the extent of my skemaness. Sometimes).

Last Friday, I was on the receiving end of a hit and run accident. I suspected that the culprit, in a light green-ish brown-ish Wira, was using his handphone or something the moment the accident happened, as he did not notice me on the (left) side of his car (Liza even suggested it might not be hit and run. It might be just, well, an unintentional thing that went unnoticed. But read on). Basically, this is how it happened: motorcyclist on the leftmost of flyover, car on right side of motorcycle immediately swerved to the leftmost of the road when the both of them exited the flyover. Signal? na-ah. At that very moment, my bike was roughly side-to-side with the rear passenger door of the Wira so I can't really see his registration number. Deng.

Interestingly, the moment I fell and was about to 'hit the road', literally, I was actually thinking of my Burberry bag ('material -ehem- guy' playing in the background), among other things HAHA. Sayang woo beg niii...

Anyhow, I fell with my bike in front of me on the road so I was facing traffic and at the same time 'shielding' my bike (from the oncoming traffic. I did not choose to shield it, though. It was just a spur-of-the-moment thing, just in case anyone's wondering). The moment I lifted my head up a Kelisa was roughly 6-7 metres away. Thankfully I was conscious I managed to get up and lift both my hands in a 'stop!' gesture. And thankfully, thankfully the Kelisa wasn't really speeding. It must suck to get hit by a car twice in one night.

The bike momentarily lost its light. I did some ad-hoc repairing and continued my journey to my sister's. Lots of rattling sounds came from the bike but I got to my sister's neverthless. I found then that parts of my beard was red and my lips were somewhat like Angelina Jolie's. No shaving for this man for a week or two then.

Saturday I felt like a really old man, my being kengkang and whatnot. My left wrist was almost limp. And I got lots of red and blue spots, including the swollen ring and baby fingers of my right hand (code blue). No broken bones, though. Alhamdulillah.

People, drive safe. And to those skema drivers, it's OK to be so. Stay being skema. The world can be a better place to live in (drive on). Trust me. Scout's honor with the hand thingy (you know, the three-fingers stuff. Or whatever). With one swollen finger (eh, right hand or left hand eh? Aku dulu PKBM, bukan pengakap). Enlighten me, o followers of Lord Baden Powell!!

comfort food

My arms still hurt from yesterday. Staffs of the 12th R.C had this mini-volleyball tournament, consisting of four teams. The results of the matches in this tournament are not important -not in this post, at least- due to the simple fact that my team lost :p

Anyway,

Makcik Siah, ever the rebellious makcik, broke a rule -a serious rule- by bringing to the court the wonderful, wonderful sardine rolls she prepared. So notorious was she that she did not even notice breaking the rule (now, this is a lie. Makcik Siah is a very, very nice person. She was just unaware of the rules, that's all. And these sentences in parentheses are not written just because she prepare meals for us staffs everyday and has every chance to put poison in mine. Honestly)

Anyway, sardine rolls. This is one delicacy I'm really fond of. I remember when I was in standard one -my family was staying in Johor Bahru then- and Ummi made sardine rolls, and us kids get to help her make it. Oh that was sooo much fun, never mind it took us nearly two hours to prepare the first batch of four -thanks to us kids 'helping out'- which is enough for both my sisters, my brother and I. Ummi passed. HAHA. We made lots more after that. At a much faster rate. I remembered thinking 'this is the best thing that will ever get past my lips'. Ummi, mother through and through, only ate a few after everybody have had some.

And to this very day, I get that same 'high' when eating sardine rolls. I just can't say how much I appreciated Makcik Siah preparing the sardine rolls and, well, breaking a rule :p

Terima kasih Ummi, dan terima kasih Makcik Siah. And not just for the sardine rolls :)