gracy?you there?yoohoo!?

I suck at taking personality tests because usually I answer them in a manner that indicates who I want to be, not who I really am. Anyhow, I discovered today that I'm the laissez faire kind of teacher (not sure I spelt that right. And I discovered this not through any personality tests; I just read some article and felt that 'laissez faire' described me spot on). That means I make moderate preparations for class, don't place too much demands on my students, emphasizes that my students be comfortable in class (as-in; not nagging and such, even when nagging is required). In short, I'm the permissive type. Not bad I guess. But not good.

There are four types; authoritharian, authoritative, laissez faire and indifferent; with 'authoritarian' placing 'control in class' as the main priority and 'student power' almost non-existent, and 'indifferent' being the most laid-back, I'm-only-teaching-because-I-need-my-paycheck-at-the-end-of-this-month type. I think you get my point. So I'm stuck in the middle. I'd love to one day be the authoritative type. Because my experience as a student tells me that both the authoritharian and indifferent classes suck, and I think I'm being laissez faire as a result of my leadership. Or rather, lack of it. Lack of time has sometimes forced me to not prepare adequately for class, which in turn resulted in fading interests from the students. I like to tell them stories, relate with them, guide them. Because as cliched as it may sound, the youths of today is the nation's treasure. And I hope to one day be better. Not just longer-tailed piggy better. Just better.

When you love something, or someone, you adapt and improve. And grow

Anyhow, I got into this one awkward situation during one of my classes. I'm writing this down as a result of my reading this, although the circumstances are vastly different. Where I teach, as usual there will be this soal selidik thingy at the end of each semester, where students get the chance to get back at their lecturer/teacher courtesy of an evaluation form. So this staff I meet regularly at the office came to my class to conduct such evaluation process. She had been to two of my other classes and this would be the last, since I only teach three groups. I don't think I had ever said or did anything to indicate that I disliked her (I've never done anything to indicate I do like her but that is besides the point) so I was totally baffled when she said this; "inila last soal selidik ni, lepas ni dah tak payahla jumpa saya lagi dah.." I was, like, what is she suggesting? Alas, as I usually do when faced with such situations, I approached this one with humor; "alamak! Gaji tak dapat lagi ni.. kalau tak, bole buat majlis perpisahan". She laughed. Bless my quick thinking.

I use humor a lot. Including when facing awkward situations. But I think the way to approach awkward situations like these is with grace, always. Betul tak aku cakap ni? Compliments, criticisms, any awkward situations; when facing them, we should at the very least try to be graceful. And there are people who are very good with this. They even write books sometimes. They tread through these awkward situations so gracefully it just seem so natural and effortless; "thank you, you're too kind. But there's still much to be done" or "I value your feedback but surely I did not do that badly". And always with a smile. And they do it with such finesse that the one who threw the compliment(s) or criticism(s) can only smile back. In awe.

One day I might be able to pull this gracie-macie stuff. For the time being I'll just rely on humor :) I'll end with this quote which I find mildly funny but adequately inspiring;

Couldas and Shouldas don't count. If you Coulda and Shoulda, you Woulda